well, mom will soon be 104 years old. by the grace of God, she'll be celebrating in heaven. i asked my "adrian crowd" to pray for that "gift", and they came through.
mary helen called after memorial day weekend."maybe you should come...you don't want to wish you had." my car was in the shop. would i rent a car or take the train? left kath a message asking for her thoughts. "we'll both go,
in my car. it makes sense." tears followed. she was "with me" in this moment.
it would become my last trip to be with mom. we arrived late tuesday afternoon. mom was alive, but in the process of leaving us. on wednesday and thursday, we gave her some morphine to slow her respirations. her respirations were rapid and shallow. the morpine did allow her to relax a bit.
i sat by her and held her hand. doing what i've admonished others to do. i held her hand and let her know that i was with her. i told her to "go where the willow tree would have been'. i took off the nasal o2 and within 15-20 minutes, she left. she took about 4-5 normal breaths and then closed her mouth in death. i closed her "beautiful brown eyes".
it was difficult for my mom to die. she was always so full of life and mischief. how she managed to deal with 4 years in bed, i'll never know. she was so patient with herself and so grateful for any care she received. in the end, i do believe that she was waiting for me to be there with her as ahe left for the willow tree.
i'm so grateful that mary helen called. i'm grateful that kath came with me. birth and death are the two most intimate times in life. mom was with me and i was with her...both times. how fortunate i was to share this life with her.
